Two images side by side, one enjoying a day at Ascot Races and the second in hospital

I have been both of these people over the past 10 months – and that really is the story of me living with active Crohns.

2018

Let me take you back. It was November 2018. Ahead of me I had Christmas, a incredible 7 week trip around Australia and Singapore planned and I just found out I landed a new job which I’d be starting in April 2019. I was so pumped for the things to come, but my body was having other ideas. My Crohns symptoms had started flaring to a level I couldn’t ignore and before I knew it, I was whipped into hospital to have a joyous flexi sigmoidoscopy to have a good old look at what was going on (I don’t have a large intestine, hence the flexi rather than a colonoscopy).

I always have sedation when I have a flexi (sorry but after 23 years of Crohns and some kind of camera up my bum at least once every 18 months, I made a blanket rule for myself to always have sedation. It just makes the experience slightly more pleasant), so when I woke up I was totally disorientated. When I heard my consultant say “we’ve found some severely active Crohns”, I was kind of hoping I was dreaming. Alas, I was not, and the second thing he said to me in my drunken-post sedation state was “but the good news is, we have options before more surgery”. I wobbled out to greet Josh who was waiting for me, still slurring my words from the sedation to say out loud for the first time “I have active Crohns”. The shock was similar to someone hitting me round the head.

For context, I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease when I was four years old and I am absolutely no stranger to having active disease. When I was 12 years old I had my 90% large colon removed, lived with an ileostomy for three years and was re-joined when I was 16. After that I had many scar tissue complications which involved multiple operations, but I never had any ‘active’ Crohns (read my full IBD story here). In 2016 I had minor-moderate flare, which I got under control with the liquid diet (read all about that here) and since then with the help of Adalimumab, I had generally felt pretty well. So to be told this was no longer the case and there was a very real reason I was shedding a large amount of blood – it was quite a shock.

So it was November 2018 and I was due to fly to Australia in less than 5 weeks for the biggest adventure of my life, and I had severely active Crohns which was in no way under control. The first thing they gave me was mesalazine suppositories – which it quickly became clear did absolutely nothing. I continued on the adlimumab, but as it got closer to Christmas, I began to get increasingly anxious that I was going to take myself to the other side of the world with no proper working treatment. Not to mention, I was exhausted. Barely functioning, barely socialising and barely stringing sentences together – the Crohns fatigue was REAL. Two days before we flew to Australia at the end of 2018, I was given high dose steroids. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I also wanted to feel well and enjoy the trip Josh and I had saved so hard for.

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Honeyzzz I’m back and WE ARE OFF 🇦🇺✈️🇦🇺 and what does an English person do before a 24 hour journey? Have a good cuppa of course! (With almond milk obvs) Christmas has been an joyous whirlwind and I cannot believe we are sitting here at T2 about to embark on a trip we’ve been planning for months.🥰 In all honesty, December was such an uphill struggle with my #Crohns – I did wonder if this moment would ever come. But here we are and I can’t wait to spend 6 weeks with my best friend & properly rest my body & soul 💖💖Hope you’ve all had an amazing Christmas – first stop, S Y D N E Y 🇦🇺✈️ I’m also officially open for foodie recs 🙌🏼 #abellyfullofhappy • • • • • • #glutenfree #dairyfree #foodblogger #foodblogeats #glutenfreelife #glutenfreedairyfree #londonfoodie #foodietravel #ibs #crohnsdisease #invisibleillness #gratitude #wordstoliveby #positivevibesonly #travellife #australia #passionpassport #sydney #nye #seetheworld #abellyfulloffood #sydneyaustralia

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2019

The Budesonide steroids got to work extremely quickly and our trip to Australia was AMAZING. I was still taking Adalimumab at this point, so I travelled around the country with all my meds (click here to find out how I did that) and I felt great, I loved every single minute of it.

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‘Will I ever be able to travel like I used to with IBD and my tummy troubles?’ The answer is HELL YES you can! 🌍 You just have to find out the best way to do it for you. I am so excited to share the first blog post of a mini series I am publishing on my site, which shares lots of tips and tricks I’ve learnt after my 6 weeks travelling #Australia. First up – ‘how are you camping with tummy problems??’ 🚌 This was the most common question into my DMs and I totally get it. Staying in a campervan or a tent inevitably means being further away from bathroom facilities & that obvs is a massive root of anxiety for many of us. And genuinely, if someone asked me to camp on the other side of the world 10 years ago I would have said no without a minutes thought. But I embraced this adventure and it was AMAZING. I so hope you find these tips useful & empowering too. Link in bio & as always id love to hear what you think 🌟✈️ #abellyfullofcrohns #abellyfullofhappy • • • • • • #glutenfree #senzaglutine #glutenfreelife #glutenfreedairyfree #dairyfreelife #londonfoodie #singluten #foodietravel #ibs #crohnsdisease #crohnsandcolitis #colitis #intolerances #invisibleillness #positivevibesonly #ibs #ibstips #crohnswarrior #australia #campervanlife #campervanculture #eastcoastaustralia

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I returned to the UK in February feeling good, refreshed and ready to kick arse in my brand new role, which was starting in April. That didn’t seem to last too long, as in March I was served with a stellar Crohns slap in the face in the form of an abscess on my bum. I unfortunately have experienced one of these before which required surgery, so I know all well how quickly the situation can escalate. I had three (yes three!!) rounds of antibiotics before it got to the stage when I had to go to A&E and have emergency surgery to drain it. It all happened so quickly it was such a shock – it also happened one week before I was due to start my new job. Talk about timing!

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Last Monday vs This Monday🥴🤯 Pic on the left: Last Monday served me a stellar Crohns shaped shock in the form of emergency surgery in A&E. Albeit minor, it was under general anaesthetic and has left me with a new wound to add to the scar party! Josh and I went straight from Cotswolds to A&E and 36 hours later I was high on morphine after surgery, with a open wound. 💖 Pic on the right: this is me, yesterday, starting my new job! No, I’m not 100% and I left early to have my daily wound dressing & lie down (literally), but I am beaming because Crohns has not bloody beaten me. 💖 I am not sharing this for a pat on the back (Josh, my friends + my family are giving me enough of those 🥰) I am sharing because this is exactly an example of when #Crohns will slap you in the face when you least expect it. But the point is with laughter, love and determination – there is nothing that can’t be accomplished. And a prime example of how you can never, ever know what someone is truly going through just by looking at them. Whatever your unexpected curveballs are, I urge you to laugh more than you cry, be kind to everyone even if you’re struggling yourself & trust that it will all get better. Because it always does 🙌🏼 #abellyfullofcrohns **FULL DISCLAIMER: I have not been this positive the whole time. In fact this morning I had a meltdown at my wound dressing because it made me late… but then I got a coffee & got on with it #hustler🤣☕️ ** • • • • • • #glutenfree #dairyfree #foodie #foodblogger #glutenfreelife #foodietravel #ibs #crohnsdisease #invisibleillness #gratitude #positivevibesonly #wordstoliveby #judgementfree #realtalk #wisdom #colitis #chronicillness #chronicillnessawareness #invisibleillnessawareness

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During this whole saga and the recovery period that followed, my other Crohns symptoms started to show their ugly little faces. The consultant appointment that followed was basically me crying about the abscess, crying that my symptoms had come back mixed with me telling the doctor very firmly (my mum said I was frighteningly firm!) that I needed a new treatment plan. So I came off adlimumab and started Ustekinumab – a different biologic drug. Little did I know that takes up to three months to work, so coming off the steroids just made me flare again so back onto the steroids I went. So as I sit here writing this, I feel amazing, but I’m on high dose steroids and Ustekinumab. Why does that sentence warrant a but, you might ask? It warrants a but to me because I am due to taper down my steroids very soon – and my track history follows the pattern of flaring up as soon as the steroid dose is reduced. So I am loving this feeling – but also feel well aware I have no idea how long it’ll last. What I HOPE is the Uste is working some magic in the background – and that will be what will prevent another flare up.

Now

This probably all sounds very negative – but the truth is, I honestly haven’t been unhappy during this time. Of course, I’ve had some real lows (the abscess really pushed me to breaking point), but overall I have tried to take it all in my stride and I have had unreal support. I started my job in April full time, but in June it became clear that full time shift work was not working in my favour. I went part time in July with the full support of work – and will continue that arrangement until I feel the time is right. Josh, my family and my friends have been there for me every single step of the way and I am very lucky I have multiple people I can call on if I need to. Despite my active Crohns, I still travelled around Australia, I still have been on holiday to Portugal and Spain, I’ve attended weddings, socialised, worked and I’ve hosted not one, but two A Belly Full Of events.

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💞 Crohn’s disease & mental health 💞 I’ve shown you so many ‘glam’ bits of my life recently that I realised it was about time I shared some other real bits – the #Crohns real bits. This photo was taken on Monday when I was having my first dose of a new medicine called Ustekinumab. I felt SO optimistic about this Med after my operation etc – and I still do – but my body had a very weird reaction to the IV (only temporary!) and I’m not going to lie, it unsettled me. Whilst this little wobble might not sound like much, the past two days I have been an emotional wreck. Welling up at a drop of a hat, having to practice deep breathing because I feel like I have an elephant is standing on my chest and then today I saw my GP and she said ‘and how is your mental health doing, whilst you are coping your Crohns?’ I was so stunned by the question I was speechless. Until I realised I legit haven’t been asked about my mental health by a doctor in relation to having a chronic illness for about 15 years. ✨ Of course my Crohns impacts my mental health. How could it not? Chronic illness can encompass your entire life – and recently it certainly has with me. My feelings aren’t unreasonable – it all stems from my brain trying to process what the hell is going on with my body. In my 23 years with #IBD I’ve experienced some lows but I have always come out the other side. Talking helps a lot – as well as knowing it’s okay to be angry and frustrated. It’s #mentalhealthawarenessweek and that is why I’m sharing this extremely personal post. Because I would hate anyone to look at my feed and think I cope with it all like a boss – because I don’t🙈 ✨If you ever feel like you need to talk there are many places you can do so – @mindcharity, @heads_together and @samaritanscharity are all an excellent place to start #abellyfullofcrohns • • • • • • #glutenfree #dairyfree #foodie #foodblogger #glutenfreelife #foodietravel #ibs #crohnsdisease #invisibleillness #gratitude #wordstoliveby #positivevibesonly #judgement #realtalk #wisdom #selflove #chronicillness #londonblogger #chronicillnessawareness #invisibleillnessawareness #mentalhealth #chronicillness

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My life philosophy is very much take every day as it comes and I truly live by this. I don’t worry about next week/next month and even next year, because I’ve learnt my Crohns can slap me in the face when I least expect it and I find it easier to just focus on the present, rather than worrying about what might happen in the future. Living with a chronic illness is a constant rollercoaster and focusing on the negatives never helps anyone does it? BUT what I do think is helpful is being honest, real and open. So I hope I have done this through this blog (and my events) – because I know how crippling isolating this disease can be.

If you’ve read to this point – THANK YOU! And I always love to hear what you think. This blog and my whole platform is about real and honest conversations. If I’ve inspired a thought or there is something else you’d like me to write about, please let me know!

Find me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or email me on abellyfullof@gmail.com.

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Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food event

I will forever look at this photo and wonder how I look so awake at 7am. (Photo: Emma Parlons

In early July, I was absolutely delighted to host my first ever A Belly Full of Food event. This has been something I’ve been keen to launch for a while and I was so excited when everything began to come together for it. I kept it super small for my first event (I’ve never even organised something like this before!), and so I really wanted to write a little about it so I could share it with more of you and hope you will be able to join me for the next one!

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food event

Rhiannon Lambert & I mid gut health talk!

For anyone who follows me or reads this blog, you’ll know that I am a HUGE foodie and also mega passionate about educating people on living with IBD. As a journalist by day, I am hugely motivated by getting evidence-based knowledge out there and educating others about how food can play a role in a disease of this nature. I find the online world hugely frustrating at times, when I see influencers advertising products, which are not necessarily based on evidence and the messages out there are confusing and conflicting. This is something I was really keen to address in my first event, and I was so delighted that Registered Nutritionist Rhiannon Lambert came to speak and share her nutritional knowledge (more on this below!)

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food event

The gorgeous spread of brightly coloured fruit outside

A Belly Full of Food breakfast mingle came around when I stepped into the doors of the gorgeous Panzer’s Deli, in St Johns Wood and met the amazing team there. We worked together on hosting this first gut health foodie event under the A Belly Full Of brand (eeeeek!)

The aim of the event was mainly education – to learn about gut health, including IBD and IBS and also gathering together some foodies to eat some amazing food! I was so lucky that Panzer’s Deli put on an amazing spread, which catered for gluten, dairy free and vegan, including the most insane fruit salad, fresh berries, coconut yogurt and artisan coffee made to order. Everyone gathered to eat the delicious food, before I introduced the special guest, which was the lovely Rhiannon Lambert of Rhitrition.

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food event

How epic is this gluten free and vegan spread at Panzer’s Deli?

Rhiannon was absolutely focal to the goal of my event, as a Harley Street nutritionist, she knows everything there is to know about food, nutrition and gut health, and would never say anything that wasn’t rooted in evidence and research. Together over half an hour, we discussed IBS, IBD, Coeliac Disease and some gut health basics. Along with the huge support from Panzer’s Deli, a wonderful friend Sarah from BTempted Cakes bought along her brand new vegan and gluten free cupcakes for the goodie bags – what a way to start the day!!

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food event

Feeling so excited to have the first event go so well and gives me so much pleasure to announce that this isn’t the only A Belly Full of Food event. I can’t wait to share the details of the next one with you – a much bigger event which won’t start so early in the morning! I’d love to hear any other health topics you’d like me to look to cover in the future – not just gut health, but anything! This concept is really about educating on a wealth of health conditions and topics. Hit me up with your suggestions below (or via Twitter, Instagram or email). I really would love to hear from you!

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full of Food Events

My beaut GF girlies bought me flowers and it was just the loveliest moment. GIRLS SUPPORTING GIRLS

Bryony Hopkins A Belly Full of Food www.abellyfullof.com

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Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full Of

Eating all the gorgeous food and new beginnings.

A Belly Full of has been considerably quiet the past few months – and a lot has changed for me. My career has changed so dramatically in the past few months, it’s taken me some time to adjust to my new working world. I have had so many people asking me how it’s going, how I came to be a freelance journalist and what my journey has been. I am finally taking the time to sit down and reflect on the past six months, on the platform that sprung me to where I am today.
If you follow me on Instagram and Twitter, you’ll know that by day I am a journalist, working primarily at BBC World News TV. Back in June, I was a full time member of staff at the BBC, working under intense pressure in the newsroom. I loved my job but I lost my mojo for finding a story and so in June, I took the wild jump to a completely different sector. I thought it was what I wanted and so I moved to the third sector to work as a Content Producer.

Bryony Hopkins at Bafta, A Belly Full Of

Back at the BBC and having drinks with lovely colleagues. At BAFTA, Piccadilly.

I spent a mere four months there, before I realised my heart was in journalism. During this time, I was excitingly approached by the Metro to produce original content and foodie pieces for them. (See the Metro tab to read my pieces!) I was SO excited – but utterly terrified about taking the plunge into the freelance world, which was really my only option. Imagine leaving a full time journalism role, to only realise you want to go back to it! I’ve always fantasised about being freelance and finding my own opportunities, balancing multiple projects and sniffing out content and stories that I love. But the prospect was terrifying. Financially terrifying, especially when you’re sub 26 and living in London.
As I became increasingly unhappy in my charity job and craving the fast paced nature of the BBC Newsroom, which I loved, I quit – after just four months. People have asked me how you know when to leave a job so soon. I tell them you just know – something deep inside your gut and heart will tell you. I barely made the decision on my own though, I had SO many pep talks from my friends and family – my Mum used the phrase ‘jump off the bridge!’ too many times for me to count (metaphorically speaking, of course…)
I have been so incredibly lucky that BBC News opened its doors to me as a freelancer (despite leaving a full time role only 4 months ago!) and now I plug any gaps they have in the rota. It still means working weekends and anti-social hours, but having some control over how many days I work is amazing for my health. Although having said that, since making the leap to freelance just four weeks ago, I have worked every single day of the week!!

Bryony Hopkins at Woody Bear London, A Belly Full Of

Still making time to visit amazing places in London. Cocktails on London rooftops at Woody Bear London.

So I’m pretty much working more than I have ever done in my life, but I am so insanely happy to be in a position where I am working in so many different capacities. Don’t get me wrong, this process hasn’t been easy and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO exhausted. But I feel so proud of the decisions I’ve made (does that sound cocky? I hope not!) and really believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret leaving a full time role at the BBC and trying a different sector, because I followed my heart at the time. It turned out not to be right, but that turned out to be one of the biggest life lessons I’ve ever experienced.

Bryony Hopkins, A Belly Full Of

Spending a Thursday at the spa. Unreal! Gorgeousness at the Macdonald Berystede Hotel.

I am writing this on a Thursday afternoon, after spending an evening at a beautiful hotel at a press event and spent the morning working by an open fire in the countryside. Is that even real?
So whilst I don’t know what I’m going to be working on into the New Year, I do believe that everything will be okay.
If you’re reading this and wondering how it can be possible to make your dreams a reality and take a gamble, you should know that there is never a good time to take a risk. So don’t let that be your excuse. There are many horrible things in life we don’t have limited control over, like your health, but there are other things you can change if you’re not happy. It’s also okay to make mistakes, and learn from them.
So with that in mind, I’m really excited to add lots more content to A Belly Full Of in the coming weeks and hope you’ll continue to follow me on my journey. I’ve eaten in so many fabulous free-from places recently, made some amazing blogger pals and been to some amazing events.
And I can’t wait to share it all with you.
In the meantime, feel free to have a browse of everything I’ve been working on in my blogging quiet spell here.
BRYONY HOPKINS, A BELLY FULL OF BRYONY

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